My husband left 20 minutes later to get on a plane. He will be back at about 11:30 on Thursday night.
I. Am. Tired.
My boys have been especially _____________ today.
Fill in the blank.
Fussy, irritating, needy, loud, exasperating, wide-awake (i.e., not napping), hungry (i.e., I've been nursing all day), uncooperative.
It's hard to remember right now that they're cute and I love them to pieces.
I started out the day already behind because I had six loads of wrinkled laundry to fold in my living room.
I got that finished and put away.
Guess what it's already time to do again?
Matthew ate the last banana this morning, and we ran out of milk.
I haven't even had time to shower today.
What's the point at this hour?
The baby is finally asleep, but he'll be up in a couple of hours to eat again.
The older two are super loud in their beds right now. I can hear them both all over the house. And I don't have the energy to go up the stairs again.
I have had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Six weeks postpartum is hard.
The world and your doctor tell you that you can go back to doing everything you did before you gave birth.
Only you can't.
I still can't get a decent night's sleep even though my baby is a good sleeper.
I still can't make it all day without at least one soft drink to get me through.
I still can't wear any of my pants.
I still can't find time to shower every day.
Or brush my teeth before bedtime.
Or go to the store for milk.
But yet at six weeks, my boys have always reminded me in a not-so-subtle way that there's something I can do.
Something that helps.
Something that strengthens.
Something that hurts at first and that we protest. But that, with time, becomes easier and easier until it's second nature.
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP
And so, without further ado, here are each of my boys in order: Andrew, Benjamin, Thomas
All at about six weeks.
Keeping their heads up.
Maybe tomorrow, boys, maybe tomorrow.
Right now I'm going to pop open a Dr. Pepper and drown my sorrows in some Velveeta & Rotel dip and some Friday Night Lights.