Monday, May 10, 2010

Keep Your Head Up

I've been up since 6:00, when my baby decided he was ready to start the day.

My husband left 20 minutes later to get on a plane. He will be back at about 11:30 on Thursday night.

I. Am. Tired.

My boys have been especially _____________ today.

Fill in the blank.

Fussy, irritating, needy, loud, exasperating, wide-awake (i.e., not napping), hungry (i.e., I've been nursing all day), uncooperative.

It's hard to remember right now that they're cute and I love them to pieces.

I started out the day already behind because I had six loads of wrinkled laundry to fold in my living room.

I got that finished and put away.

Guess what it's already time to do again?

Matthew ate the last banana this morning, and we ran out of milk.

I haven't even had time to shower today.

What's the point at this hour?

The baby is finally asleep, but he'll be up in a couple of hours to eat again.

The older two are super loud in their beds right now. I can hear them both all over the house. And I don't have the energy to go up the stairs again.

I have had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Six weeks postpartum is hard.

The world and your doctor tell you that you can go back to doing everything you did before you gave birth.

Only you can't.

Not everything.

I still can't get a decent night's sleep even though my baby is a good sleeper.

I still can't make it all day without at least one soft drink to get me through.

I still can't wear any of my pants.

I still can't find time to shower every day.

Or brush my teeth before bedtime.

Or go to the store for milk.

But yet at six weeks, my boys have always reminded me in a not-so-subtle way that there's something I can do.

Something that helps.

Something that strengthens.

Something that hurts at first and that we protest. But that, with time, becomes easier and easier until it's second nature.


And so, without further ado, here are each of my boys in order: Andrew, Benjamin, Thomas

All at about six weeks.

Keeping their heads up.

Maybe tomorrow, boys, maybe tomorrow.

Right now I'm going to pop open a Dr. Pepper and drown my sorrows in some Velveeta & Rotel dip and some Friday Night Lights.


Christia said...

Hugs Angela! I can't imagine what it's like with three and no hubby to help! Your boys are adorable, but I have one concern. How did Thomas turn six weeks already?! Sounds like the typical six week growth spurt for T, the 'fabulous' fours for Andrew (sense the sarcasm, please!) and the terrible twos for Benjamin.

Beth Chappelear said...

You can, and you will. I will say some extra prayers for you tonight my friend. And yes, keep your head up... and your eyes up too... looking in the right direction for strength and help through this.

Shannon said...

hang in there angela... we all have our bad days. i give you so much credit for doing so much while matthew travels.

enjoy your dr. pepper and try to rest up tonight when the boys are sleeping. (((hugs)))

Heather said...

Girl, if I could hire you a nanny for the next three months I would do it. I'm tired just reading about this. Hang in there. Tomorrow is another day, and somehow they all string together and things get better. And Matthew comes home.

JILL said...

Oh I just love seeing the 3 photos. They are all soooo cute! Someone oughta tell Thomas not only is Benjamin watching him - the cat is keeping a pretty close eye on him, too.
I love your sense of humor through the exhaustion. Some day you will be so glad you blogged all of this so you will remember it!
I might have to grumble at Matthew for leaving you bananaless. Grrrrrrr, Matthew!

Mary Jo said...

Ugh that sounds so rough and it's just Monday! One day at a time babe... sometimes one hour/ one nap at a time! Makes me wish I'd put a rush order on your "special" gift I ordered you :)
Also I have to say that I chuckled when I saw Andrew's picture. So dang cute! And it looks just like him! HUGS and hang in there. MJ

Adrienne said...

Ugh- I remember those days- you know it will get better. Sorry you've had a bad one. My husband traveled a lot when Bennett was first born as well and let's just say it made for one very cranky mama.

I have to laugh at that cat in the background of Thomas' pic-he's got to be thinking "please, he's just lifting his flippin' head, what about me for a change?" LOL.

heartchild said...

I wish I lived in your state so I could bring you bananas and milk! I remember these times you are in and miss them. Well I miss the little people during those times. I hope this week goes quickly until your man comes home!