The One Where I Punched a Stranger

Many of you who know me in real life (and a select few of my Internet buddies) already know this story, but I realized the other day that I hadn't shared it with the blogosphere yet.

So here goes.

This is my infamous story. My friends make me tell it every time a new crowd is around.

Okay. So I was 12 years old (and I was a real looker at that age...) and was at Six Flags over Georgia with my family. It was 1989, so it wasn’t uncommon for a girl of this age to go ride a ride by herself b/c no one in her family wanted to ride it with her. Anyway, I was in a long line for Thunder River, which is one of those rides with the big, circular boats that seat like 10-12 people, and you go through rapids and some people get wet, etc.

I was very consciously aware that right behind me in line the whole time were these older, good-looking guys (three of them I think). In reality, they were probably not that attractive and maybe just a couple of years older than I was, but at 12, you’re horribly self-conscious and you think everyone is looking at you and talking about you.

We were sloooooowly moving through this line. In order to go into the “dock” to get into the boats, you have to go up some stairs and then down into the dock. At the bottom of the stairs (before you go up), there are those turnstiles that count how many people ride the rides. So right after I went through the turnstile, the guy behind me grabbed my butt. I was aghast!!! I didn’t even have time to think. I acted completely on instinct and turned around and just punched him as hard as I could right in the chest. (Which, granted, wasn’t all that hard, and I think I actually hit him in the sternum, which really hurt me more than it hurt him. But he got the point.)

As soon as I punched him, the guy threw his hands in the air and was like, “WHAT DID I DO?” And his friends just died laughing. But I didn’t stick around; I was SO mortified. I just started pushing my way through the line to get far away from them. I wanted to ensure that I wasn’t on the same boat as they were. Thankfully, I was successful and didn’t see them anymore.

I was so embarrassed over what had happened, I NEVER TOLD A SOUL. Not my mom, not my friends, and definitely not my dad or brothers!

Fast forward three YEARS later. I was 15 years old and at Six Flags again with some friends and their church youth group. We were all in line at Thunder River, and I was (obviously) reminded of the butt-grabbing/chest-punching incident. I STILL had NEVER told anyone about it. As I got to that exact point in the line, I was thinking about it, and as I went through the turnstile…… (can anyone guess the rest????????)

………IT HIT ME ON THE BUTT.

Get it? Everyone? It was the freakin’ turnstile that hit my butt…NOT THE GUY! I punched him for NO reason.

I could not believe it. It was an incredulous realization. But the way I look at it, now I have a funny story to tell the rest of my life, and so does that guy. I'm sure his friends make him tell it in new crowds.