Friday, June 12, 2009

Wanna know how much I weigh?

**EDITED**

My weight-loss journey has ended for now, as of July 23, 2009, for today I took a pregnancy test and discovered that I am expecting Amick Baby #3! My total weight loss from February 26 through July 23 was 23 pounds. But more than losing weight and going down a size was my total self confidence boost. And I have a better concept of eating and drinking. I make wiser choices. Plus now, I know I can do it. And that is worth every penny paid for Weight Watchers. I will definitely be joining again after this baby is born!

****************

Before I got pregnant with Andrew (my first child), I was at the *very* top of the "normal" range for my BMI. I am 5'11", and at the time I weighed about 175.

Even though I wasn't "fat," I certainly was not happy. I can't remember a time I have ever been happy about my weight or my body. Even as far back as the third grade, I remember realizing that I had a big stomach and thinking, "I'll always have this."

Probably from college until getting pregnant (about a decade), I was habitually starting and stopping a diet/exercise program. There was always the self-inflicted guilt. The overeating. The promise to "start on Monday." But Monday never came. Or it only lasted four days.

In the fall of 2004, I lost 17 pounds on the Atkins diet. For the first time, I was able to fit into size 12 jeans, as I have been a 14 my entire adult life. But then I got strep throat and started eating bread again. You know, like normal people do.

And so I pretty much just continued with my horrible eating habits. Not caring how many calories or grams of fat anything had. Not paying attention to portion size. Not ever stopping myself before I was stuffed. It was like I was too stupid to realize that there truly is a correlation between what I ate and my weight.

By the next summer I had gained it all back. Here is a picture of how I looked in the summer of 2005, when I was actually already pregnant with Andrew but did not know it yet. (This is a Gap in Hawaii, by the way.) These are my size 12 jeans that were a little snug but fit well enough. My stance is making my left hip stick out a bit weird, but you get the point.



Sigh. Then I got pregnant. And I gained 56 pounds. And after Andrew was born, I had major issues with his feeding, so losing weight was not top priority. Or even bottom priority. And frankly, I have never had much motivation or willpower.

Months passed and I was still wearing maternity clothes because none of my size 14s would fit. So I bit the bullet and bought 16s.

And that is where I stayed. Sure, I lost a little bit of weight. At one point in the summer of 2007, when Andrew was about 15 months old, I got down to about 188 briefly. But I stayed at about 195-200.

When I got pregnant with Benjamin, I still had 20 pounds leftover from my first pregnancy. I weighed about 197. Thankfully, with my second pregnancy I only gained 27 pounds.

And I don't have to tell you that with Benjamin's birth came a whole host of things to distract me from losing weight.

But to tell the truth, I just didn't want to.

I didn't think I could. I thought I didn't have it in me.

I loved the idea of losing weight. I loved the idea of being in shape. I drooled at the idea of wearing size 14s (and some 12s) again. I would sit down and write up a workout plan and a healthy menu. And then a few days into it, I would just quit.

I didn't think I could. I thought I didn't have it in me.

After Benjamin was born none of my 16s even fit, even though I quickly lost my pregnancy weight and was back down around 200 again. Girls, you know that having a baby does weird things to your body. You can be the same weight but not the same shape.

I refused to buy 18s so I shamefully headed over to the women's section and bought a few pairs of 16W pants. And a couple of regular 16s that fit.

I was miserable. My body image was controlling me. It consumed my every thought. I hated going into my closet because nothing fit. I hated going places because nothing fit and when I finally found something that kind of fit, I felt like a big, fat cow in it. I hated being in pictures. I hated being in my skin.

I struggled with the idea of losing weight because I knew it was going to be hard work. And I don't like hard work. I like to eat and sit on the couch.

Plus we plan to have two more children (yes, we're nuts) and so what was the point of losing weight just to gain it back?

I would plan for things in the near future like vacations or family birthdays and think, "I'm still going to be fat and miserable then." And although Matthew has never been anything but supportive of me, I am sure he was tired of my crying and whining about my weight and then watching me make poor choices with food.

Then my mom mentioned going to Weight Watchers together. She had joined last year and lost 30 pounds but had quit for various reasons, only having gained back a small portion of what she had lost. At first I was hesitant, not only because of the money, but because of the work of what I thought it would take to do this successfully. Planning meals. Counting calories. Yuck.

But we went to our first meeting on February 26, 2009. My starting weight was (gulp) 206.8. But this time I was determined. I was a woman on a mission. (Putting your weight loss plans on the Internet is good accountability, by the way!)

The first week I lost 4.8 pounds. The "work" of WW was hard at first. But it doesn't take long before you are just used to it. There are tons of resources available to make it easier on you. After the first week, my weight loss ranged from 0.4 to 2.2 lbs a week, but has averaged about 1 to 1.5. (I have only gained once, two weeks ago, and it was only 0.2 lb.)

And because I was losing slowly (the way you're supposed to), it didn't permanently harm me to have a piece of birthday cake or a yummy Italian meal (yes, a whole meal) occasionally. There are extra WW points built in so that you can treat yourself. The motto of WW is, "Stop Dieting. Start Living." And I can honestly say that even though I may have an unhealthy meal or snack every once in awhile, my eating habits have changed. And I will not go back.

I didn't start exercising regularly until 30 days ago, when I started the 30-Day Shred with Matthew. Yes, we did it. Exercised for 30 days straight. It was hard. I could not have done it without him because I still don't have the best willpower. But he does. Wow, does he ever. He is my rock! Out of the 30 days, I was probably only excited to work out about three of the days. I fought it tooth and nail (just ask Matthew) about three days. The other 24 or so days, I did it because it is what you do. Now that the 30 days is over, I plan to exercise (whether it's biking, walking, or shredding) 4-5 times a week. I can definitely tell a huge difference in my body because of the Shred. Especially in my abdomen and my thighs. Nothing gets your thighs in better shape than doing lunges for 30 days. LOL

I have not arrived at my goal weight, but I am about halfway there. I have now lost a total of 19.8 pounds. I know, it's silly, but I just cannot bring myself to say 20! My "official" WW weigh-in weight is now 187, but I have seen as low as 184.5 on my home scale. Do you realize how close that is to my "official" pre-pregnancy weight of 177.5?? But even then, I will not be ready to stop. That is still the very top of my "healthy" range. My goal weight is 160. Will I reach it before we decide to have another baby? Maybe, maybe not. We're not sure yet when we'd like to try to have another baby, but I am just going to keep on trying to fit into those size 12s. I can almost zip them. I can fit into a couple of pairs of my 14 jeans, but there are still several pairs of 14 jeans and pants that are still too tight. Which makes sense because I'm still 10-15 pounds heavier than I was when I wore them comfortably.

Here are comparison pictures.

My very first night of Weight Watchers and then last night.

February 26 to June 11.

Fifteen weeks.

19.8 pounds.

A new me. Not just the body but the habits. The mindset. Ah, the contentment. That is worth the $40 a month for WW anyday.

















My point in all of this, other than just to share my success, is to say yes, you can do this. I have zero willpower. I still hate to exercise. I still LOVE food. But the old saying is 100% accurate: "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." And though I would not consider myself thin (yet), for the first time in years, I do not dread going into my closet. I do not dread being in front of the camera. And you know what? My skin is not all that bad of a place to be in.

44 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so proud of you! BTW, cute butt! Love, Aunt Priscilla

Ginger said...

Congrats Angela! You look great! I am so impressed that you did the 30 day shred. The thought of it makes my body ache. I did WW before Anthony & I got married and am doing it again as well. It is a wonderful program and I suspect you'll reach your goal weight and surpass it before you know it. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

You Go Girl!!!! You look great! I hope you and Matthew have an awesome vacation! I'm jealous of how much sleep you will get :). Selena

Adrienne said...

Awesome job Angela!!! Looking good!

Kellye, Chad, Hayden, and Sebastian said...

ANGELA AMICK!!! I don't think I've ever been so pround of someone I've never met IRL in all of my life and I am SO PROUD of you and for you! I know what an empowering feeling that can be to finally take control, to make conscious choices AND most of all, be HEALTHY and feel good....not just for you but for the people who love you! YOU GO GIRL!!!

Tired Mom of Six said...

Awesome! I have been exercising for almost 3 months - 4-6x per week and while I haven't lost any weight, I have lost some inches and have brought my blood pressure down to a healthy level.

We (moms/women) are worth taking care of ourselves, but it is such a hard concept to get your brain around. Good job on taking care of you! You have two awesome boys and a hubby who need & want you around. :)))

G said...

YOU ARE DOING GREAT!

Heather said...

You look awesome! I'm so proud of you. And I haven't forgotten the skirt. I was just waiting for you to feel good in your skin again!

H

Aishlea and Brandon said...

WOW!!! You look great--and I am so proud for you! My mom and I did WW about 5 years ago and had great success. I have slowly stopped doing what I know I am supposed to and have gained some of it back..yuck. So now I am in the process of trying to get back in the right mindset. Thanks for your post because that was the extra push I needed! I have been training to run, but I haven't been training for the right lifestyle!

Thanks for the inspiration!

Courtney said...

Congrats! You look fantastic!

Alicia said...

You look awesome! Keep up the great job! You did a number on me...you make me want to go exercise right now! Dont think my boss would like that but hopefully I can get on a routine. I might just have to try the 30 day shred!

Laurie said...

YEAH!!! You are doing SO well!!! Great job, Angela!! : )

Lisa B. said...

Angela - you look great! Congratulations and keep it up :) You're post here is a great inspiration to me - still needing to lose some weight (I have no idea what the scale says!) from my last pregnancy!

Emily (Katelyn&Savannah'sMommy) said...

You look awesome!! Congratulations & keep up the good work!! I'm with you on the zero willpower thing, I need to get my arse in gear!!

Great job!!

Tina said...

You are an inspiration!!!! Congrats and keep up the good work!

Mary Jo said...

YAY! I'm so proud of you! You look wonderful - the before and after pictures are great! And because you did the shred you've gained muscle as well. Honestly I'm looking forward to getting the go ahead for exercise at my eventual 6 week appt. I'm feeling pretty awful in my skin these days too and have been wanting to work on it seeing you work so hard on your goals. I've told dh that WE have to do shred together as well. Congrats sweetie you look fantastic!

Shannon said...

angela, i am so proud of you!!! keep on going and you will be at your goal in no time!!! have a great vacation!!!

Wendy said...

Congratulations! You look great!

Denise said...

I can't tell you how badly I needed this post. I am so overweight right now. It is going to ruin my summer because I want nothing to do with a bathing suit or even shorts and you can't fun in the sun without those things. We have a traditional beach day this next tuesday with friends from preschool and I am not looking forward to it because I am so uncomfortable with myself. This has never been a problem for me until the last couple of years and I need some serious motivation to get started. Thanks for your post!!

Diana said...

I love you and I am so proud of you!! let's walk and workout together soon!! I gained 7lbs on vacation UGH!!! Don't slip up like me!!

Beverly said...

you are doing such a great job! You look great!!! I need some of that energy! Thanks for sharing!

lesliemarie said...

Congrats Angela! You look fantastic! Keep up the good work. :)

Anonymous said...

Wow!! You look fabulous!! Congratulations on your weight loss, your post is so inspiring and honest. You are so precious! Thank you for sharing your stuggles and accomplishments it means a lot. I hope that you and your husband ahve an awesome time on your trip! Julie Ward McDonald

Juliet said...

Congrats! You look great! I miss you buddy.

Susan Massoud Farley said...

You're inspiring me! (And that is really saying something since I have zero willpower!!) Love ya~!
- Suse :)

Kara said...

Great job Angela! Woohooo! You look great!!!

Thanks for the Jason Mraz, btw, wooh!

Gisela said...

YOU LOOK GREAT! Fantastic, fabulous, beautiful! You're doing such an AWESOME job! Keep it up! I have done a few of the 30 Day Shred workouts (from On Demand) but I want to get the DVD and commit to those 30 days.

Chrystal said...

You look fantastic and sound amazing. Thanks for the inspiration!

Banni said...

you look WONDERFUL! keep up the good work!

datri said...

Way to go! I'm on this journey with you. I hit the 20 pound mark and now I've been stuck for a month. Frustrating. Will just keep at it.

Elizabeth said...

Angela, I don't know if it's b/c I'm hormonal or I'm super excited for you (which I am), but I totally teared up reading that. You look so great! Congrats for all the hard work you've done.

Hector and Jennifer Varanini Sanchez said...

You look amazing and beautiful! Most of all you have an inner glow in your "after" shots. You look happier inside and that is what is MOST important. Congrats!!!! Enjoy your new sexy self :)!!!

Amber said...

You look great!! Be proud, girl :) Hope vacay is all you dreamed it would be.

Lisa said...

congratulations!! You look fantastic!

What a wonderful thing you have done for yourself. Now when you have those children, the weight part doesn't have to cause you stress. You know you have it in you to lose it.

Stephanie said...

You have to be the coolest girl I know to have lost that weight! I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!!YAY, Angela!! Yay, self-control!
WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!

Christina said...

I'm visiting from MckMama's blog!

Wow!! You have done such a wonderful job! Your story has helped to motivate me! I have been "dieting" since January. I really became discouraged about a month ago and went on a binge, eating everything in sight!! I started back to my healthy ways this week and I hope to continue and lose about 30 more pounds. From January to June I had lost 24 pounds.

Meffy said...

Those photos are amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!That is just awesome! You look wonderful. You will look and feel wonderful pg too!

Trieste said...

I'm on the BBZ March DDC and I jjust glanced at your blog and saw that you'd lost a lot of weight so I got curious and looked at this post. What an inspiration! You sound just like me (except I haven't gotten motivated enough yet and now I'm pregnant). I was exercising more right before I got pregnant and lost about 6 pounds, but like you I have 20 extra from my 1st pregnancy (I gained 55 lbs) and then, I only gained 25 with my 2nd and lost all of that weight. But the past year I've somehow put on 10 extra pounds from a previous pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage and just not eating right. I hope to exercise while I'm pregnant...doing what I can and I hope to eat better so I gain less with this one. We'll see what happens, but no matter what after this one is born I'm going to WW...you convinced me of its worthT Thanks for your post and sharing it!

Anonymous said...

Angela I want so bad to get to do what you had done. Go th WW and exercise but I don't have anyone that cares enough to help me. It makes me cry to read this because I want so bad to be healthy for my grandson Will and the one on the way in Jan. I can't afford to do a weight lose program or even join a gym and don't have the will power to do it by myself. I like to walk but I wish I had someone to walk with.
I sit on the couch on the computer knowing i should be doin something else than just sitting here.
I wanted to join WW, my husbands employer offers a discount but its not enough where we can afford it.
Since I quit work and now I am back on the Sub list for cafe. work maybe that will help with money. I use to have a points list from WW but can't find it. I just could never get use to counting and making a menu. Do they still do the points? Thanks for listening and if you have any motavation for me please let me know. Thanks,
Peggy Parkhill

Monica Crumley said...

I know this post is from a few months back, but that's an awesome story. Your before and after photos are inspiring. I'm a WW Lifer (I did it in college) and have been coming back off and on since then. I never knew you were 5'11"! Well, after baby #3 and the post-partum time is over, you can always go back if you need to, because they can help you whether you're pregnant or nursing, too.

Thanks for the kick in the rear to get back to ww.

The Lumberjack's Wife said...

Wow! Great job! You are awesome! I must look into this 30 day shred! (Found you from Kelly's Korner)

karen@fitnessjourney said...

You look amazing! I did a post on WW a while back and it was one of my most popular with lots of comments left. It has worked for so many people. The real key to maintaining your loss is the exercise too. So glad you have found a balance and have had such success.

Lindsay said...

Thanks for sharing your story, it truly inspired me. I am a lot like you, I don't enjoy working out or eating "healthy" food, but I know it is a direct correlation to how you look and feel about your self. Way to go, I hope I can find some of the same will-power you have!

Claire said...

Well done you! So inspirational!

Cxx