Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

First of all, Mary Jo and I had a wonderful time together!! Pictures and stories to come. But first, it's time to review the things I did not do this week. Buckle your seatbelts. This is going to take awhile.

I do not smile and sometimes chuckle at the fact that Andrew likes "Dumbo" so much. I do not think my son will be ridiculed later in life for his resemblance with the large-eared elephant. And I certainly do not think he is the cutest big-eared boy ever.



I certainly did not take Mary Jo to CiCi's Pizza when she was fresh off the plane from Minnesota, meeting her for the first time in the parking lot, and then I certainly did not introduce her to the best garlic cheese bread EVER. Not me!



I did not allow Andrew to pose in his spring pictures with Clifford the Big Red Dog (his current favorite) so he would smile. (The pictures will not come in a few weeks and I most certainly will not post them and gush over how cute they are.) And I am not the type of mom who gets frustrated when her kid won't smile for the camera, so I would never take a million pictures of him in the living room before the actual pictures so I could teach him how to smile. I would not do that; it is not effective.

I am not obsessed with the fact that Benjamin can sit, so I do not keep capturing pictures of him falling over.

I do not live on the set of Hitchcox's "The Birds."

I am not married to my OCD-counterpart (because, of course, I am not OCD) who did not fold and organize all our clothes to give away to charity, and who most certainly did not create an Excel spreadsheet so he could most effectively write it off our taxes at the end of the year.

I did not spend $9 on a hairbrush, and then I did NOT drop it and break it in two just a few weeks later. (Consequently, I would never make MJ go to Wal*Mart with me to buy a new one.)

It did not bother me that this did not have an apostrophe even though it does not need one. That would be crazy because I am not obsessed with grammar and punctuation.

I am not eating like it's going out of style b/c I'm starting Weight Watchers this Thursday.

I most certainly would not overreact and be dramatic when my mom bumped into me with a small paring knife, telling everyone I was stabbed repeatedly by my mother. And it would be silly to take a picture of said knife, telling others that the chocolate sauce on it is blood. That would be senile.

I am a great mother. I would never forget to turn the baby monitor on at my mother's house full of noisy guests only to remember when Benjamin had been asleep in the faraway basement four hours later. I always remember that second children are just as important! (Incidentally, in case I ever did anything like that, which of course I never would, he would have been just fine, as he fell asleep as soon as Matthew put him down to bed...) This monitor only looks like it isn't plugged in. :)

I am not crazy enough to take a stupid picture of myself and put it on my cousin's phone. Not me! And I would not put it as her screensaver, caller ID, nor her incoming phone picture.

I am not worried that my older brother Michael is going to have quite the life lessons to learn as he's about to become a first-time father in April. Not me!! I am convinced that he will love to lose sleep, change diapers, and most especially, watch the delivery. ;)

Oh, and Benjamin is not worried about Uncle Michael either.

I do not have wonderful brothers. They are dull and proper and never make me laugh.

I am not concerned that my mother let Andrew get dressed in a beach hat, fireman hat, and pink gloves. Not me! I am certain that he will turn out juuuuust fine.

As mentioned earlier, I have found that I parent both of my sons the same way. I am just as attentive to details with the second child as I was with my first. So I would never leave Benjamin in a poopy diaper for quite some time so that I could capture pictures of him learning how to clap on demand when I said "pattycake."

And because I would not do that, I would not step away to finally get a diaper and miss catching him falling into the coffee table and getting a big bump on his head.

And, no, that is not "Polar Express" behind me on the TV. I do not let Andrew watch Christmas movies in late February. Not me!