Friday, October 3, 2008

Surgery is underway

First of all, I want to say that the Ronald McDonald House is cool.
And by cool, I mean cold. The thermostat is set on cold and we cannot change it. The vent blows on my face as I sleep.
But I would rather have it cold than warm, so it's not a big deal. Except when the cold has to do with the constant state of the water. Then it's not The problem has been fixed as of now, but last night (when Benjamin had to bathe and Matthew had to shower) and this morning (when I had to shower), there was no hot water. Wowza. I just kept standing there, willing myself into the cold streams, knowing that there was no easy way. So I just took a deep breath and stepped into it. Kind of like life. You just have to decide that you're going to walk into the trials and face what you face when you get there. And just as I knew that cold water, while uncomfortable and not ideal, would not kill me, neither will many of the trials that we face.

And my hair has never been shinier.

OKAY onto the important stuff. (Sorry, Justin.)

Everything has gone like clockwork so far this morning. We were here on time, Benjamin was alert and talkative. Ready to eat, but easily distractable. They came and took him from us at 7:40 CST. At about 9:00, they called us while we were in the waiting room and said that they were just about finished getting him all prepped. They weren't able to get the IV in his wrist b/c he's so small, so the surgeon was going to have to make a cut in his wrist to pull a vein out. There will be a small scar, but it was necessary. He was doing well otherwise. (He was completely out while they did all of this, so he was not feeling any discomfort or pain.)

So we left for a little over an hour to go back to the RMH to get some things. When we got back, the attendee at the podium (who yields all the calls about surgeries) said they had *just* called (at about 10:35) to say that he was on the bypass machine and they are working on the repair.

This waiting room is big and there are lots of people in it, waiting for all kinds of surgeries, from birthmark removals, to resetting a broken arm, to urological issues. I would have to say that ours is most likely one of the more serious ones. You can kind of tell that, too, because we have everything but the kitchen sink with us (to help pass the time) and most others just have a purse or bag.

I have gotten a little teary-eyed a couple times today (maybe b/c I only got four hours of sleep last night), but I am holding up really well. The sun is shining brightly in the windows, and the area all around us is just beautiful. You can tell by the shadows that it's fall, and that's my favorite time of year. I keep looking around just trying to take it all in. I think all of this has changed me in little ways that add up to a different outlook on life and people. It has made me more compassionate and less egotistical. I sense myself not being as judgmental of strangers just because they look different or don't fit into the mold of what I think a person should look or act like. These are real people. With real problems. And they need a loving God. Every single one of them. Especially the ones who don't think they do.

So, to answer the question that you may be wondering...No. It was not hard to hand my sweet baby Benjamin over to the nurses. I don't know why. And it's not because I'm so strong or because I'm naive. I just trust. I trust God that He is everywhere. And He is good. He is sovereign and He is loving. I might not be back there in that operating room with my baby right now, but he certainly is not alone.

None of us ever are.

Here are some pictures from this morning. I will update my blog the next time I hear something, which should be in an hour or a little more.


lots_of_love_four_kids said...

Wonderful post and great reminder about trusting God.
Thank you for the update about Benjamin. You have been in our thoughts and prayers!!!
God's love and peace,

Amber said...

Oh it's an hour later and I can't wait to hear soon!! YAY!!!

Melissa said...

Thanks so much for your update. I have been following your blog for a little while and have been checking my computer all morning for updates. I was so happy to see his smiling face in the pictures and his loving and strong parents with him. Your family is amazing!! My prayers are always with your family. God Bless You!! Benjamin - I think that you are one of the cutest little boys I have ever seen with a smile that can light up the sky. :)

Stephanie said...

tears from your post. I just think you are so COOL!
Will wait for the next post!!

jennifernikki said...

Angela, you write some of the most amazing words. Thank you for the update. I will be checking your blog all day. Good luck little guy!

Comfort29 - Jennie said...

Been thinking of you and your family and Ben is in my prayers!

Christia said...

Seriously Angela, you are the best. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Its what we do with Him in those times that are the hardest that show who He is to us. You are an inspiration and an incredible witness.