Friday, April 23, 2010

Two years ago today...

Two years ago today was April 23, 2008.

Two years ago today was the day before I met my sweet Benjamin.

Two years ago today the words "Down syndrome" drummed up only the image of "Corky" to me.

Two years ago today I never knew how deeply I could feel hurt and love all at once.

Two years ago today I was a lot more judgmental of others.

Two years ago today I was not familiar with ASD, VSD, PDA, CBC, PT, OT, or ST.

Two years ago today my relationships were not as close as they are today, especially with people I've never even met.

Two years ago today I hadn't known what it was like to go through the motions and take care of my family even though all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and die.

Two years ago today I did not know love could be so fierce. Smiles so cherished. Milestones so celebrated. Tears so bittersweet.

Two years ago today I never knew how much I would long to hear the word "mama."

Or any words at all.

Two years ago today I thought I had life all figured out.
Two years ago today I did not know that God was about to change my life in a million different ways.

Happy Birthday tomorrow, my sweet Benjamin.

I need you as much as you need me.

Maybe more.

16 comments:

Shannon said...

seriously, you need to put a warning on these posts... i love your writing, and i think benjamin has taught us all so much. it is amazing to think i could be so touched by a 2 year old i have never met. but through your blog, emails, and chats i feel so connected.

happy birthday sweet benjamin!!!!

Mel said...

Happy birthday Benjamin and Benjamin's mama! My boy was 2 in January, and I feel like I am finally getting there :) Great kids we have!

jmason said...

Beautifully written Angela...Happy Birthday Benjamin!!

Astrid said...

You just made me cry:) Happy Birthday (tomorrow) Benjamin!

The Mom AKA Tanya said...

So well put and so accurate. Bless you and the big two year old.

Alicia said...

Thanks for sharing! Happy Birthday Benjamin!

Branton Family said...

Nicely put. Have a great day tomorrow, Benjamin! Zach sends his love! :)

JILL said...

Happy Birthday 2 Benjamin!
mmm.... cake!!!! Oo - I can't wait to see photos!!

Stephanie said...

Beautiful.

HomeSpun Threads said...

Awe! 2 already! Happy Birthday Benjamin!

Mary Jo said...

What a great entry. I think there are many of us who will never be the same because of what's happened the last 2 years with Benjamin's special arrival. It has been amazing to see you've grow through this all, especially as you have shared your journey with a ruthless honesty the past 2 years. Thank you so much. Love ya - MJ

Kellye said...

Awww! Happy early birthday sweet Benjamin!!!

Fredericks Family said...

Chills! I am all teary as I read this and can't believe he is two already! Thanks for being you.. Thanks for sharing your journey. Benjamin, Happy Birthday sweet boy!!

Glittergrits said...

Angela,
I love following your blog! You are an amazing person and Mommy!

Shana

mlfont said...

Angela - Happy Birthday Benjamin!! Hugs to you and your precious family. Looking forward to watching these boys grow! Anticipating God's best for them! XO Lara

blessingsandglory said...

Happy birthday Benjamin!

Two years ago, I didn't "know" you Angela, and I'm so happy we are sharing our journey together.

-Libby