My husband and I both run marathons

Most of you know that my husband Matthew is a runner. He has run various 5Ks, one half-marathon, and three full marathons, along with two sprint triathlons. He is nursing an injury right now which has sidelined him, but is so busy at work he wouldn't have time to run anyway.

I technically don't run. Okay, I don't run at all.

But Wednesday, I was a marathoner. A doctor's visit marathoner. And my running partner?

This sad little guy. I mean, really? Could he be any cuter or any more pathetic?

Ever since he had a few sips of thin liquids (per the recommendation of the ST at the swallow study), he has had a nasty cough.

All evening Monday (even after I stopped the thin liquids and went back to thickened milk), all day Tuesday, and continuing on into Wednesday. He had his last synagis shot (RSV prevention for preemies and/or high risk kids) scheduled for 10:15 Wed morning and an appointment w/his pediatrician at 1:00 in the afternoon. The latter appt was originally just for an ear recheck from his ear infection, but now it was also a sick visit since he was coughing nonstop.

Thankfully, my mother was home from work recovering from surgery and offered to watch Andrew.

From the time we left the house to the time we were in the exam room at the synagis clinic (probably a span of 80-90 minutes), Benjamin had 32 coughing fits.

I counted.

And I got one on videotape (on my beloved Sony Cybershot) to play back for the doctor, since kids and cars never do what they're supposed to.

The wonderful NP at the synagis clinic, who has seen B every month since November (as well as five months last winter) said that she thought B would greatly benefit from seeing the pulmonologist to see if there were underlying issues with his breathing, etc. To see if he could possibly have a floppy airway or bacteria in his lungs.

From his January synagis appt to his February appt (exactly four weeks apart), he lost three ounces. He is 22 months old and is still not even 23 pounds.

So we drove quickly to my mom's where I ate a quick lunch and tried to feed Benjamin lunch (but was met with much screaming and crying).

At the doctor's office, Benjamin, despite not feeling well, found the mobile hanging from the ceiling absolutely fascinating.

The doctor came and rechecked his ear. It looked a little pink, but she said that was probably b/c he was so upset that she was yet again looking into his ears.

I replayed the coughing video for her (which I would upload but I can't figure out how to upload videos on the new blogger format), and she listened to his breathing. She said there was definite crackling. She was concerned that he aspirated on the (very small amount of) thin liquids that he'd had on Monday. Evidently, if the noise that we heard were all upper respiratory, it would be evenly distributed. But she heard it more on the left side, which means it's in the lungs.

She wrote me a prescription for a chest x-ray.

Which meant going back downtown to the same hospital I had just been at that morning.

And it meant to go right now.

She wrote him another 10-day Omnicef (antibiotic) prescription and told me to up the Albuterol (breathing treatments) to three times a day until the cough goes away.

Again, how thankful was I for my mom's surgery? This day would have been SO much more difficult had I had to lug my noisy, talkative, needy preschooler with me. Thank you, Mom, I love and appreciate you so much!

(Incidentally, the doctor, too, thinks that B might benefit from seeing the pulmonolgist, so we made an appointment for March 9. He sees the GI doctor on March 4. They will both probably want to do an endoscopy, and this way, we can do one scope and they can both look for results on the same scope.)

So here goes big, pregnant, tired me, running my doctor's visit marathon, taking my sick, fussy, tired boy back downtown to get a chest x-ray.

The doctor called me later that night and said that the x-ray actually looked better than the one he had on Jan 28th, so thankfully there is no pneumonia.

Matthew has been so, so busy at work. When he's not traveling, he's working super late every night. We barely see him. I'm not used to this, and neither is he. He got a new position in the fall that has a "busy season" that starts in mid-February and is supposed to last through July or August. Yeah. A "season" that is half the year long. Ugh. He really and truly enjoys his job but is So. Very. Busy.

He is going to be able to take off a little bit of time when Thomas is born, but not very much. This worries me quite a bit, as I need extra recovery time after my C-section. I can't lift things or drive or go up and down the stairs for awhile.

And those are kind of important things in my life.

Thankfully, when Thomas is a week-and-a-half old, and Matthew goes back to his busy work week, my mom has Spring Break.

Oh, did I mention that Andrew is having his tonsils out next week?

Oh, did I also mention that I'm sick now?

Yep. Got a bad cold two days ago. Can't breathe. Can't smell or taste. Blow my nose 45 times an hour.

But I have to just keep going.

Taking joy in the little things in life.

Like the fact that today I had absolutely nowhere to go today. Granted, this is only one of four days this month where that has been the case, but still.

And like the fact that my husband, when I actually do get to see him, is very sweet and silly and does goofy things like rearrange the letters for Thomas' nursery wall.

And like the fact that my little guys need me.

Life is not about my comfort. How much I want to have predictability.

Do I want my kids to be healthy? Of course.

Do I want to be able to sleep late and be healthy and not run to the doctor two to three times a week? Naturally.

But that is simply not my life right now.

I hope that one day I can look back on this time and say, "You know, the winter of 2009-2010 sucked. It was hard. It was long. It was full of sickness and tears and exhaustion. But we made it. And it hasn't been that bad since then. And we are stronger because of it."

Thanks for being along for the ride. Sorry for being such a Debbie Downer lately. I'm trying to keep it upbeat. I'm trying to laugh. I'm trying to dance in the rain.

Not for the sake of appearances.

Not so others will think I'm superwoman.

Not to hide any problems I'm having.

Not for any other reason other than it is necessary for survival!!