Friday, February 26, 2010

My husband and I both run marathons

Most of you know that my husband Matthew is a runner. He has run various 5Ks, one half-marathon, and three full marathons, along with two sprint triathlons. He is nursing an injury right now which has sidelined him, but is so busy at work he wouldn't have time to run anyway.

I technically don't run. Okay, I don't run at all.

But Wednesday, I was a marathoner. A doctor's visit marathoner. And my running partner?


This sad little guy. I mean, really? Could he be any cuter or any more pathetic?

Ever since he had a few sips of thin liquids (per the recommendation of the ST at the swallow study), he has had a nasty cough.

All evening Monday (even after I stopped the thin liquids and went back to thickened milk), all day Tuesday, and continuing on into Wednesday. He had his last synagis shot (RSV prevention for preemies and/or high risk kids) scheduled for 10:15 Wed morning and an appointment w/his pediatrician at 1:00 in the afternoon. The latter appt was originally just for an ear recheck from his ear infection, but now it was also a sick visit since he was coughing nonstop.

Thankfully, my mother was home from work recovering from surgery and offered to watch Andrew.

From the time we left the house to the time we were in the exam room at the synagis clinic (probably a span of 80-90 minutes), Benjamin had 32 coughing fits.

I counted.

And I got one on videotape (on my beloved Sony Cybershot) to play back for the doctor, since kids and cars never do what they're supposed to.

The wonderful NP at the synagis clinic, who has seen B every month since November (as well as five months last winter) said that she thought B would greatly benefit from seeing the pulmonologist to see if there were underlying issues with his breathing, etc. To see if he could possibly have a floppy airway or bacteria in his lungs.

From his January synagis appt to his February appt (exactly four weeks apart), he lost three ounces. He is 22 months old and is still not even 23 pounds.

So we drove quickly to my mom's where I ate a quick lunch and tried to feed Benjamin lunch (but was met with much screaming and crying).

At the doctor's office, Benjamin, despite not feeling well, found the mobile hanging from the ceiling absolutely fascinating.


The doctor came and rechecked his ear. It looked a little pink, but she said that was probably b/c he was so upset that she was yet again looking into his ears.

I replayed the coughing video for her (which I would upload but I can't figure out how to upload videos on the new blogger format), and she listened to his breathing. She said there was definite crackling. She was concerned that he aspirated on the (very small amount of) thin liquids that he'd had on Monday. Evidently, if the noise that we heard were all upper respiratory, it would be evenly distributed. But she heard it more on the left side, which means it's in the lungs.

She wrote me a prescription for a chest x-ray.

Which meant going back downtown to the same hospital I had just been at that morning.

And it meant to go right now.

She wrote him another 10-day Omnicef (antibiotic) prescription and told me to up the Albuterol (breathing treatments) to three times a day until the cough goes away.

Again, how thankful was I for my mom's surgery? This day would have been SO much more difficult had I had to lug my noisy, talkative, needy preschooler with me. Thank you, Mom, I love and appreciate you so much!

(Incidentally, the doctor, too, thinks that B might benefit from seeing the pulmonolgist, so we made an appointment for March 9. He sees the GI doctor on March 4. They will both probably want to do an endoscopy, and this way, we can do one scope and they can both look for results on the same scope.)

So here goes big, pregnant, tired me, running my doctor's visit marathon, taking my sick, fussy, tired boy back downtown to get a chest x-ray.

The doctor called me later that night and said that the x-ray actually looked better than the one he had on Jan 28th, so thankfully there is no pneumonia.

Matthew has been so, so busy at work. When he's not traveling, he's working super late every night. We barely see him. I'm not used to this, and neither is he. He got a new position in the fall that has a "busy season" that starts in mid-February and is supposed to last through July or August. Yeah. A "season" that is half the year long. Ugh. He really and truly enjoys his job but is So. Very. Busy.

He is going to be able to take off a little bit of time when Thomas is born, but not very much. This worries me quite a bit, as I need extra recovery time after my C-section. I can't lift things or drive or go up and down the stairs for awhile.

And those are kind of important things in my life.

Thankfully, when Thomas is a week-and-a-half old, and Matthew goes back to his busy work week, my mom has Spring Break.

Oh, did I mention that Andrew is having his tonsils out next week?

Oh, did I also mention that I'm sick now?

Yep. Got a bad cold two days ago. Can't breathe. Can't smell or taste. Blow my nose 45 times an hour.

But I have to just keep going.

Taking joy in the little things in life.

Like the fact that today I had absolutely nowhere to go today. Granted, this is only one of four days this month where that has been the case, but still.

And like the fact that my husband, when I actually do get to see him, is very sweet and silly and does goofy things like rearrange the letters for Thomas' nursery wall.


And like the fact that my little guys need me.

Life is not about my comfort. How much I want to have predictability.

Do I want my kids to be healthy? Of course.

Do I want to be able to sleep late and be healthy and not run to the doctor two to three times a week? Naturally.

But that is simply not my life right now.

I hope that one day I can look back on this time and say, "You know, the winter of 2009-2010 sucked. It was hard. It was long. It was full of sickness and tears and exhaustion. But we made it. And it hasn't been that bad since then. And we are stronger because of it."

Thanks for being along for the ride. Sorry for being such a Debbie Downer lately. I'm trying to keep it upbeat. I'm trying to laugh. I'm trying to dance in the rain.

Not for the sake of appearances.

Not so others will think I'm superwoman.

Not to hide any problems I'm having.

Not for any other reason other than it is necessary for survival!!

11 comments:

Tricia said...

If I lived aqnywhere near you, I would volunteer to help. As is, I can only pray that help will come and hope that everything lines up so that I can meet you next time we visit GA. You are a fabulous momma. I know it is hard when your life is off schedule. Yes, it will get easier. And going from two to three is easier than going from one to two. Hang in there.

JILL said...

Wow - Benjamin is looking sooo grown up in that first pic! And freakin' adorable!
Hang in there - you are doing a great job!! But, we do think you are Superwoman!

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

you.are.awesome. LITERALLY.

Shannon said...

look at the poor little face and red nose... what a trooper.

hang in there mama!!! or should i call you debbie? LOL yes, this will be the winter you look back on. i remember my bad winter when mason was sick ALL.THE.TIME. and i finally showed up at the pedi's office after he coughed up blood and just broke down in tears... i just couldn't take it any more.

we all have moments, and we all get through them. and you will too.

p.s. tell matthew to get you a new pair of running shoes as your birthing gift... you'll need them when all 3 are moving and grooving. :)

Gisela said...

WOW...Benjamin looks like such a big boy in that picture! Sorry you guys have been sick. But you are right- you will get through this! I hope that th next month goes smoothly for you all!

Lisa said...

Wow... that IS a marathon day. Difference is, if Matthew wants to hop on the sag bus and quit one of his races, he can. You? Not so much. Quitting isn't an option. You sure do trudge along with grace though. I know that nobody around you can tell when you are "hitting the wall."

Benjamin looks absolutely adorable in that picture!

I hope that everyone starts to feel better soon and that little B stops all that coughing!

Laura said...

"Life is not about my comfort"...that speaks volumes to me!

Keep it up! You are a supermomma!

Aishlea and Brandon said...

OH man.... you have had a tough go lately! So sorry everyone is sick and hope all is well soon!!!

Kurage said...

You ARE a marathon runner! Hang in there girl, winter is almost over! At least you are lucky enough to have THE BEST mom EVER! I hope you get some answers at B's upcoming appointments.

Last year was our sick year. I swear Axel brought home every damn germ, cough, cold, virus, and stomach virus from preschool. But we survived, and you know what? This winter is a bazillion times better. I guess he built up an immunity.

(and FYI Raven, who is 2 weeks short of 2, is only 22lbs :)

blessingsandglory said...

Hey super mom! Yeah, I'm talking to you! You are amazing. Really. Just don't forget to change your shoes if they have lost their traction {pause and regroup}, pace yourself {nap}, and drink lots of water {take care of yourself.}

Thinking of you!

-Libby

count it all joy said...

Angela, you have really touched my heart this morning....again! You are my hero. "Life is not about my comfort."...Did you have to say that??...I was so enjoying having a bit of a pity party this morning about my workload and how huge it is and now you've challenged me to snap out of it! Thanks for that.

Benjamin would have to be the cutest looking toddler with a cold ever. I've recently been through the whole asthma/question pnuemonia etc palaver and it's exhausting. You certainly have been running a marathon, you amazing girl. I'll be praying for you, as always for energy, healing for your boys and praising the goodness of your lovely Mum. Where would we be without them!

I'm currently reading a book called "The Ministry of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson...you would love it -you're a living example of all the best qualities she describes. You are a blessing to your family, Angela...keep running the race...He's got your back. Meredy xo.