We really weren't going to find out. We didn't start out to find out and then reveal it. But sometimes things just happen!
Last Tuesday, I went back to the high-risk OB for the last time, for a detailed ultrasound of the baby's heart. Matthew was at home watching the boys, so I was alone.
You never see the same doctor at the ROC (or at least I never do), so after the tech did the initial ultrasound, the doctor came in. I told her that I didn't want to know the sex. She said, "Okay, that's fine; I'm just going to do a quick scan of the whole body first and be sure everything looks okay, then I'll move on to the heart."
The baby is still breech, so I knew when she moved to the lower part of my stomach that she was going toward the nether-regions. I didn't want to know, so I studied the wall.
Then I heard her say, "Oh, yes, here's a foot..."
Then she said some words I will never forget, and she said them really fast, like in a hurry-up-and-say-it voice."
"...and some other fetal parts."
Now I'm no doctor. I don't even play one on TV. In fact, I don't even know all that much about reading gender on ultrasounds since we have never found out the gender before.
But I'm pretty sure boys have fairly noticeable fetal parts.
I didn't say anything because I'm just not confrontational like that. (Although I do have a friend who also wanted to keep her baby's sex a secret and was "accidentally" told by someone during an ultrasound at the same office...You think for over $1000 a visit they could keep a freakin' secret a little better...)
But for the first time since my positive pregnancy test, I had the thought, "Oh my goodness...this might be a boy."
I was seriously THAT certain I was carrying a girl.
The next day (last Wednesday) I had a normal OB appointment with Dr. Brody. All of us went. Matthew, Andrew, Benjamin, and I.
I told Dr. Brody what I had heard the day before, and he assured me that yes, girls have fetal parts, and that she very well could have been talking about those...
Nice try, doc. But I was convinced. See, I was there. I heard her voice. I knew.
Still, we left that appointment without knowing. It was all still spinning around in my head.
Later that day as I was putting Benjamin down for a nap, I started talking aloud. (I often talk to myself, and I have found that the sound of my voice tends to lure B to sleep, so it really is a win-win situation.) I decided that maybe for the fourth baby (yes, we're nuts and want four) we will find out. Because then I would paint the nursery blue or pink, since I won't have another baby to follow of a possible opposite sex, and I would have to paint it again. (Because that would be far too much work and simply out of the question.)
That night I asked Matthew if maybe for the fourth baby we could find out. He thought about it for a minute and shrugged and said that would be fine. Then, out of nowhere, I had the thought, and asked the question, "What would you think about finding out now...with this baby?"
Wouldn't you know it...we were interrupted by Andrew, and since it was just kind of a fleeting thought that had just popped in my mind, I kind of forgot about it until right before bed.
We talked about it for awhile and decided that we would find out for these reasons:
1. We have been SO set on a girl, if we waited until the day of the C-section, and it was a boy, we would be disappointed on the day of his birth. Which kind of stinks for him. It's not his fault he has "fetal parts."
2. We already had two surprises.
3. It would be SO fun to surprise everyone right now, at 25 weeks, when they didn't think we'd ever cave.
4. You can plan a lot better when you know the sex. Did you realize that? ;)
The next morning (last Thursday, Dec 17), Matthew flew from Chattanooga to Charlotte at 5:30 a.m. for a one-day business trip. I called Dr. Brody's office shortly after 9:00 and left Shana a message to call me back. I asked her if she would look at the gender from my amnio results and email me the results. That way Matthew and I could look at it together that night after he got home. (We planned to then surprise my family on Christmas Eve as we were opening presents.)
But when Shana called me back, she said, "You know, I could just tell you right now." So while she waited on the home phone, I called Matthew on my cell phone. (He was sitting in a parking lot in North Carolina, preparing for his meeting.) I put Shana on the phone, and she said...
"IT'S A BOY!"
Wow. A boy.
And immediately I thought, "I'm so glad we found out!"
Because immediately I could just envision us in the OR on March 26.
Me, Matthew, and my mom. (You can now bring two people, and we asked her to be in the room.)
Like the previous two times, bags packed with both blue and pink.
But all our hearts totally and utterly set on a Katherine Elizabeth.
And I could see them taking the baby out.
And like deja-vu, they would announce it was a boy.
And my heart would sink, and I would have to get over my disappointment and put on a happy face.
Because, you know, it's just wrong to want one sex over the other. (I hope you can sense my sarcasm here.)
So we said goodbye to Shana (who was tickled...umm...blue...at telling us the news and who says she hadn't even looked prior to this so she wouldn't accidentally let it slip) and Matthew and I talked for just a minute or two.
I told Matthew that as unpolitically correct as it was to think (like I really care about that!), I was relieved that Andrew would have at least one "typical" brother. I know that Andrew and Benjamin (and Thomas and Benjamin) will have a very special relationship, I am excited that as an adult, Andrew will have the privilege of having a true adult relationship with another brother.
Like my brothers
So that is how it happened!
And honestly, I haven't shed a single tear. I am over the disappointment, which really only lasted for a short time.
I am very excited to be the mother of three boys.
Three precious little boys.
And the advantages are overwhelming. I have three boys, born in March, April, and March. I don't need any clothes. (We will be buying little Thomas a new outfit for the hospital and will not make him only wear hand-me-downs. Though the boys' clothes are all in really good shape; we even have many outfits with the tags still on them.)
I can register for a few blue things this time!
I can start (and have already begun) to call him Thomas instead of "The Baby," "TomKat," or my personal favorite, "Katherine." ;)
And it really is true what they say.
You really do bond more quickly when you know.
Personally, I'm more than a little relieved not to have to buy pink things for now. Girls have so many accoutrements that are beyond foreign to me! I mean, ribbons, bows, dresses, tights, bloomers, etc. It makes my head spin just to think about it all, not to mention my wallet!
I can diaper and dress a boy in my sleep. Which is a good thing since I probably will be pretty half-asleep come late March.
We were originally going to tell my family on Christmas Eve as we were opening the presents. But then last night, when we were out to dinner with just Mom, she said something about the fact that if I had a boy, she would need a little time to cry about it. (I love my mom and her honesty b/c I felt the same way.)
Matthew and I decided as we were walking without her a few minutes later that we needed to go ahead and tell her alone as not to put her on the spot, as it were, in front of others.
So last night, we told her. Then we told my dad. And my brothers and sister-in-law.
We announced it to the world.
I'm so, so excited!