Monday, December 21, 2009

My Three Sons Revealed (Or The Death of TomKat)

We really weren't going to find out. We didn't start out to find out and then reveal it. But sometimes things just happen!

Last Tuesday, I went back to the high-risk OB for the last time, for a detailed ultrasound of the baby's heart. Matthew was at home watching the boys, so I was alone.

You never see the same doctor at the ROC (or at least I never do), so after the tech did the initial ultrasound, the doctor came in. I told her that I didn't want to know the sex. She said, "Okay, that's fine; I'm just going to do a quick scan of the whole body first and be sure everything looks okay, then I'll move on to the heart."

The baby is still breech, so I knew when she moved to the lower part of my stomach that she was going toward the nether-regions. I didn't want to know, so I studied the wall.

Then I heard her say, "Oh, yes, here's a foot..."

Then she said some words I will never forget, and she said them really fast, like in a hurry-up-and-say-it voice."

"...and some other fetal parts."

Excuse me?

Now I'm no doctor. I don't even play one on TV. In fact, I don't even know all that much about reading gender on ultrasounds since we have never found out the gender before.

But I'm pretty sure boys have fairly noticeable fetal parts.

I didn't say anything because I'm just not confrontational like that. (Although I do have a friend who also wanted to keep her baby's sex a secret and was "accidentally" told by someone during an ultrasound at the same office...You think for over $1000 a visit they could keep a freakin' secret a little better...)

But for the first time since my positive pregnancy test, I had the thought, "Oh my goodness...this might be a boy."

I was seriously THAT certain I was carrying a girl.

The next day (last Wednesday) I had a normal OB appointment with Dr. Brody. All of us went. Matthew, Andrew, Benjamin, and I.

I told Dr. Brody what I had heard the day before, and he assured me that yes, girls have fetal parts, and that she very well could have been talking about those...

Nice try, doc. But I was convinced. See, I was there. I heard her voice. I knew.

Still, we left that appointment without knowing. It was all still spinning around in my head.

Later that day as I was putting Benjamin down for a nap, I started talking aloud. (I often talk to myself, and I have found that the sound of my voice tends to lure B to sleep, so it really is a win-win situation.) I decided that maybe for the fourth baby (yes, we're nuts and want four) we will find out. Because then I would paint the nursery blue or pink, since I won't have another baby to follow of a possible opposite sex, and I would have to paint it again. (Because that would be far too much work and simply out of the question.)

That night I asked Matthew if maybe for the fourth baby we could find out. He thought about it for a minute and shrugged and said that would be fine. Then, out of nowhere, I had the thought, and asked the question, "What would you think about finding out now...with this baby?"

Wouldn't you know it...we were interrupted by Andrew, and since it was just kind of a fleeting thought that had just popped in my mind, I kind of forgot about it until right before bed.

We talked about it for awhile and decided that we would find out for these reasons:

1. We have been SO set on a girl, if we waited until the day of the C-section, and it was a boy, we would be disappointed on the day of his birth. Which kind of stinks for him. It's not his fault he has "fetal parts."

2. We already had two surprises.

3. It would be SO fun to surprise everyone right now, at 25 weeks, when they didn't think we'd ever cave.

4. You can plan a lot better when you know the sex. Did you realize that? ;)

The next morning (last Thursday, Dec 17), Matthew flew from Chattanooga to Charlotte at 5:30 a.m. for a one-day business trip. I called Dr. Brody's office shortly after 9:00 and left Shana a message to call me back. I asked her if she would look at the gender from my amnio results and email me the results. That way Matthew and I could look at it together that night after he got home. (We planned to then surprise my family on Christmas Eve as we were opening presents.)

But when Shana called me back, she said, "You know, I could just tell you right now." So while she waited on the home phone, I called Matthew on my cell phone. (He was sitting in a parking lot in North Carolina, preparing for his meeting.) I put Shana on the phone, and she said...


Wow. A boy.

And immediately I thought, "I'm so glad we found out!"

Because immediately I could just envision us in the OR on March 26.

Me, Matthew, and my mom. (You can now bring two people, and we asked her to be in the room.)

Like the previous two times, bags packed with both blue and pink.

But all our hearts totally and utterly set on a Katherine Elizabeth.

And I could see them taking the baby out.

And like deja-vu, they would announce it was a boy.

And my heart would sink, and I would have to get over my disappointment and put on a happy face.

Because, you know, it's just wrong to want one sex over the other. (I hope you can sense my sarcasm here.)

So we said goodbye to Shana (who was telling us the news and who says she hadn't even looked prior to this so she wouldn't accidentally let it slip) and Matthew and I talked for just a minute or two.

I told Matthew that as unpolitically correct as it was to think (like I really care about that!), I was relieved that Andrew would have at least one "typical" brother. I know that Andrew and Benjamin (and Thomas and Benjamin) will have a very special relationship, I am excited that as an adult, Andrew will have the privilege of having a true adult relationship with another brother.

Like my brothers would if my older brother weren't such a kid do.

So that is how it happened!

And honestly, I haven't shed a single tear. I am over the disappointment, which really only lasted for a short time.

I am very excited to be the mother of three boys.

Three precious little boys.

And the advantages are overwhelming. I have three boys, born in March, April, and March. I don't need any clothes. (We will be buying little Thomas a new outfit for the hospital and will not make him only wear hand-me-downs. Though the boys' clothes are all in really good shape; we even have many outfits with the tags still on them.)

I can register for a few blue things this time!

I can start (and have already begun) to call him Thomas instead of "The Baby," "TomKat," or my personal favorite, "Katherine." ;)

And it really is true what they say.

You really do bond more quickly when you know.

Personally, I'm more than a little relieved not to have to buy pink things for now. Girls have so many accoutrements that are beyond foreign to me! I mean, ribbons, bows, dresses, tights, bloomers, etc. It makes my head spin just to think about it all, not to mention my wallet!

I can diaper and dress a boy in my sleep. Which is a good thing since I probably will be pretty half-asleep come late March.

We were originally going to tell my family on Christmas Eve as we were opening the presents. But then last night, when we were out to dinner with just Mom, she said something about the fact that if I had a boy, she would need a little time to cry about it. (I love my mom and her honesty b/c I felt the same way.)

Matthew and I decided as we were walking without her a few minutes later that we needed to go ahead and tell her alone as not to put her on the spot, as it were, in front of others.

So last night, we told her. Then we told my dad. And my brothers and sister-in-law.

And today?

We announced it to the world.

I'm so, so excited!

Aren't you?


Brittany said...

Yay! I am so excited for you all! I think three boys will be a lot of fun. I am glad that you waited to find out about the other two and then found out with Thomas. That way you know the pros and cons of each situation. When John and I have a baby he wants to wait to find out, and I do too, but there is always that curiosity of wanting to know what it is! I wish you all the best!

MamaErin said...

Congratulations on baby Thomas!!! I am so happy for you all! And I am beyond thrilled at your honesty - that made me tear up as sometimes we moms try to mask our feelings!!!

HomeSpun Threads said...

Awe! That's awesome! Really, I didn't find out with Cooper but wanted Evan to be my girl so found out with him and he wasn't. So, since I knew I was only have 3 I found out with Jake and was SO relieved he was a boy too. I'm not sure I would know what to do with a boy! I'm excited for you. You're going to love having 3 boys. They're a blast. I think I've learned never to want one over the other anyway because you get what you get!

Nikki O said...

Awwww, what an awesome story. :) I keep telling Butch that we MUST have a name picked by the time we find out b/c I really believe it helps in the bonding; he doesn't understand, as usual. ;)

Such a sweet story -- I'm so glad you shared it with us! And even though the cake was E.V.I.L., that was cute, too. :)

As for all the extra accessories that little girls have, if #4 is a girl, you can always be like me and skip most of 'em. I'm just not much of an accessory girl myself, so why should I force my daughter to be one, right?

Yaaay! So excited for you and little Thomas!

HomeSpun Threads said...

correction..."I'm not sure I would know what to do with a girl." See I don't even think "girl" is in my vocabulary properly.

The other me said...

Almost identical to my experience with ELijah, H was SO sure he was a girl, I was due to fly back to the UK, not even sure H would be with me for the birth, so we paid to get an U/S and were so glad we did, that momentary sadness at not having the girl you hoped for all passed by the time that glorious boy arrives, boys are such a joy...CONGRATULATIONS!!

Anonymous said...

Same story here, except we wanted a boy and were blessed with Katelyn. After the initial disappointment right after the ultrasound,we got really excited about Her! I think I would have been momentarily disappointed at her birth. Besides, a boy named Katelyn would not sit well.

Jenn said...

I think it's awesome.
I told my mom when I was about 17 or 18 that I wanted to grow up and and have 4 boys. She looked at me like I had 4 heads!
I had thought Andrew was girl - so much so that we hadn't even picked a boy name until just before he was born (just in case) and then after that I SO wanted another boy, and was thrilled when Duncan was born. The next one we kept a surprise too - and my MIL was sure it was a girl, and nothing made me more happy when he was born to say once again "It's a boy".
Joey was the last baby - we knew he was the last one, and I found out the gender (like you did) just before Christmas, so we could announce it then.
A fraction of disappointment at not having a girl - but SO thankful for another healthy little boy - Our lives would not be complete without that last boy :p
Did you know that after 3 boys your odds of a 4th boy are much higher for some reason? not sure why.
Anyways - congrats on being the Queen of the Testosterone Castle! It's fun.

Lisa said...

Very nice. My sister had a similar story. She wanted a girl SO badly. All her life she only imagined being a mom to girls. With her second, she found out that she was going to have a second boy. She actually cried in the ultrasound room. She tells me that she is SO relieved that she found out and didn't have any of those feelings when he was born. She had time to get used to a house full of boys and was really excited about it.

Congratulations! You are in for a whirlwind of fun!

Kristen said...

Congrats...I would have been livid if the tech spoiled it, but look how God brought it full circle for you! That's the amazing part! God bless your family!

Aishlea and Brandon said...

Congrats! All 3 of your boys will love each other so much and have such a tight bond.... and maybe baby #4 will be Katherine... oh my...poor girl! Those boys will be so protective! :)

Emily from BZ (Katelyn's Mommy, etc) said...

Yes, I am so, so excited for you and your family as well!! Congratulations and I can't wait to "see" baby Thomas!!

Amber said...


And I love his name, love it! Carsyn was almost Alexander but changed at the last minute (ALL Gerry's fault, btw).

See, us "find out before the birth folks" are not evil after all :)

Diana said...

I am so glad you have the rest of your pregnancy to gear yourself up for boy. I think you have had enough surprises in your life and finding out is so much better for the planner!!! We will be raising two little boys together!! and I get to monogram something for him before he is born!!

count it all joy said...

Congratulations, Angela! To all of you!....a third boy will be awesome. I have three friends who have each had three boys and then....wait for it....a girl! Without exception, the boys I know, who are third in line have this cool vibe about them. It must be something about having two older brothers, but they are the ones who seem to have the cool hair, the laid back attitude, know just how to wear their hoodies...those sort of things.

We've found out the sex of most ours for planning purposes and I've just loved it each time. It allowed me to bond closer with the baby in the womb, like we had a little dialogue going on between mother and son...and it was helpful somehow to know whether I was chatting to a son or a daughter. Anyhoo, great news and I LOVE the name. Thomas Alexander....Leader of Men.

Love Meredy xo.

Kellye said...

Congratulations Angela! While I'm inclined to say "boys are the best", my heart aches for a little girl as well!!! Thanks for telling everyone though! What a fun way to do it too!!!!

kristi said...

Boys are a lot of fun though!

Verna said...

YA....for little boys. (My coworker has 3) all beautiful....

My daughter is optioning to wait to find out....(only 4-5 more weeks to go)..... But I think it's a girl.

Shannon said...

i didn't know where to leave a comment... so many fun posts today!!!

i am happy you found out and made your cake... boys and girls are both great. really, what is better than a newborn???

i did the opposite of you, i had to know the first 2 pregnancies, and i didn't find out for #3, and i won't for #4. with carter and mason, i thought they were girls, and was happy i found out early. with hadley, i thought she was a boy and really didn't care at all, so that was a great surprise in the delivery room.

by now you should know that i am a big fan of siblings of the same sex... i can't wait to see your christmas card next year!!! so cute!!!

i am so happy you shared this whole experience with us!!!! big hugs!!!

Laura said...

What a great Christmas present!! Congratulations & Merry Christmas!
Oh, & your cake looks so yummy :0)

Courtney said...


I appreciate your candor regarding your feelings about wanting a girl. I desperately wanted Brodie to be a girl. I guess I still wanted that "typical" daughter. There is so much taboo associated with admitting those things, though. I love that I am not alone in A) voicing my preference for a gender, and B) wishing for that which is lost when we welcome that extra chromosome into our lives.

Congrats to the entire Amick crew!

Lisa B. said...

Congrats on finding out that Thomas is Thomas! I never can wait to find out or tell ;) I'm so glad you are excited to have 3 awesome boys - you are a great momma!

Tricia said...

I am so excited for you!

Michael Crosby said...

A few things.

1. You're a FOOL!
2. Boys are easier, but girls are sweeter.
3. I had totally forgotten that "Friends" song by JMM. I love it!
4. Your playlist says Toby Keith sings "You're gonna miss this" Actually Trace Adkins sings it.
5. That is all for now.


Maureen said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I had alot of the same feelings as you but even though we can't dress them in frills and lace, boys are lots of fun too. They provide much needed comic relief in our lives! We'd be bored without them around. Anyway, there's always hope for grand-daughters but then again maybe your fourth baby will be a girl. Congratulations again! I'm excited for you. :)

Melanie said...

Congrats! I like having 3 the same gender (girls in my case). I was secretly hoping for a girl for you though because I love the name (my oldest is Katherine)!

Dawn said...

Congrats welcome to the world of 3 boys. I'm right behind ya expecting #3 boy

Stephanie said...

CONNGRATULATIONS on your little man! How exciting....imagine if you have a little girl next, she will have herself a great crew ;) So happy for you and your family!

paula said...

Thank you for telling me without anyone else there b/c you and Matthew knew I needed to shed a tear for the idea of Katherine. You are sweet to consider my feelings. You know I will love Thomas dearly- and I still do want Katherine to come but it may not be what God has planned for us. I am excited about the spring and this new baby!! I will just love keeping Andrew and Baby B while you are in the hospotal! Thanks for taking care of my heart and giving me time.

Gisela said...

YEAH to another BOY!!! I love my boys and will be totally thrilled if we have another one. I can't wait to 'meet' Thomas! LOVE his name, BTW!

Hope your pregnancy is going well, and MERRY CHRISTMAS to your family!

Mary Jo said...

So happy for you Angela! Fun to mix things up this time around huh? It is so much easier with the planning and all... and sometimes surprises are sweeter and more appreciated when we are just a bit prepared for them :)

Anonymous said...

As the mother of 3 boys herself....welcome to the jungle!! But this might be a blessing in disguise...b/c my girl is much more drama than the 3 boys together!!! So thankful for you all!!

Love, melissa cate

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! I'll admit I'm a bit biased, but having three boys is truly wonderful! (And we may just join you in the crazy department one day - four?) I totally hear you on the initial disappointment - it was hardest on my husband - but let me tell you it is just fantastic! (And yes, I've said a few similar non-PC comments too.)

Hugs to you and your boys Queen mama!


becky bell said...

I love my boys with all my heart but I was dissappointed when we found out Wes was a boy. I did cry about it actually, in private. But the Lord know what we need and I am still holding out for one or two of them myself. Mabye four will be your charm!
Congrats on baby Thomas!!!!

MoDLin said...

Congrats on Thomas! I like that you found out and can really psych yourself now for the three Musketeers! They'll have a great time together.

randifaypayton said...

As a mom of one, then two, then three and then FOUR boys in a row...I can relate to your totally normal feelings :) I can also tell you, your pack of boys will spoil you rotten (WHO else is that hand full of flowers for when they walk in the door?)-and you are in for the love of your life! I'm so happy for you!!! I love the name :) Congrats!

amy flege said...


Hector and Jennifer Varanini Sanchez said...

Welcome to the Mom of 3 Boys's a blast! But OH SO BUSY!!! :) Seriously though, there is something extremely cool about having 3 boys and being the only "princess" in the house. Conrats and I love the name Thomas. I wanted to name one of my boys Tomas :)!

The Writer Chic said...

I'm so excited for you. I always wanted to be the mother of three boys, and now that I'm staring down 2 and 1's all good. God knows what and who we need, doesn't He? =)

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Natasha said...

Hope all is well, since it's been a few weeks since we've heard from you!