Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Quick update

Sorry for the temporary hiatus.

We are actually at the beach right now.

Last-minute decision. :)

I might have to make my blog private.

Or just stop it altogether and delete it all.

I don't want to make it private b/c I know as a blog reader that it's a pain to have to sign in to read a blog, and a lot of times it's not worth the hassle to me.

And I don't want to stop/delete it b/c I love it.

No one is threatening me.

I'm not in danger.

I just have a person I don't want to read it.

To read my words.

To read about our lives.

And most especially to see pictures of my precious boys. Especially my Benjamin. Whom she thinks would be better off if he wasn't even alive. Because you know, his life will amount to nothing. He'll never be able to run outside with other kids or play sports. He'll have a miserable life because we didn't pray for God's will when I was pregnant. Because God's will was for him to just die when I was pregnant with him. Because we were selfish to have him because we wanted what WE wanted and not what was best for him. (I hope you can sense my dripping sarcasm and utter disgust here.)

Okay. I just made my decision.

I am not making my blog private.

I am not deleting it.

I don't even know if my mother-in-law knows I have a blog. But I know she's on Facebook. But she cannot find me because I blocked her. But I refuse to hide my blog. If she is reading this then let her. She can't do anything about it.

It is her loss.

I don't know a single soul sweeter than my son. And it is her loss.

46 comments:

Carie Hatmaker said...

All children are a Gift from God, and Baby B certainly is no exception. Just think of all the joy she is missing. She is the one who has missed God's "plan"!

Sarah said...

Standing ovation from me! It is 110% her loss and you are doing the best thing you can to keep her toxicity away from your precious boys. Big hugs!!

Christia said...

I'm glad you're not hiding your blog. Especially for that one person. When I think about all of the people that you've helped by having your blog. There's no reason that should stop because of her. Love you, love Baby B.

thisismamashouse said...

Wow, Angela. Just wow. Some people don't even deserve words. I'm at a total loss. I can't believe someone can look at their own flesh and blood and even think such things.

LauraF said...

Angela,
You are an amazing, wonderful woman. I sincerely hope that your mother-in-law takes a lesson from you.

You inspire, encourage, and warm so many. Keep it up- we'd miss you greatly if you left.


love,
Laura ['Mrs.F']

Shari Hicks said...

Angela,

You and you sweet family have made my life richer, especially sweet B!
It makes me sad when people can't see beauty and a true miracle for what it is. You are a truly wonderful mother and I thank God to count you as a friend.

Love you,
Shari

Jenn said...

Ah sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear this.
Benjamin is indeed a treasure and a gift from God.

I hate hearing that someone who should be in a loving relationship with him has chosen to throw that away with their narrow minded opinions. I hate that she has chosen to alienate her grandsons, and in turn her, daughter in law, and own son, because of her refusal to soften and accept Benjamin for the person he is. The person God made him to be.
You're right - it is her loss. It is a huge one too - because she loses out on your whole family. It creates tension and there are feelings of such extreme hurt and anger, and sorrow even, that the potential for such an amazing relationship has been forever squashed.
I wish there was a way to change her mind, and to take back all those hurtful things she's said, but there isn't. Vent your anger, and then release it - you will feel much better and then won't have to carry it around (which is so burdensome, trust me - I have inlaws too :p )
xoxo - give Benjamin an extra squeezy cuddle from me.

Hallee said...

You're right, it's her loss. Good for you. ((hug))

My father-in-law tried to pull that crap with Gregg's sister when she was pregnant with our amazing niece (born with Down's).

I wouldn't even begin to have the patience or the grace to handle that well.

Allison said...

I hate that you have to go through that. It WAS in God's plan for you to have Ben and for him to be exactly like he is. Doesn't she see God doesn't give us more then we can handle. Benjamin is happy and seems to be on the road to getting healthy and will soon be a big brother. I have known many of adults with downs and to tell you the truth they are more pleasant to be around then adults without sometimes. Don't let her spoil your fun. We all enjoy reading about your lives and for me to know you personally I get excited seeing where you are now in your life.

Allison

A Lady Called Amy said...

I don't know you at all but I would hug you if I could. Thank you for not deleting your blog. As the mother of a new baby who I just found out a week ago has DS blogs like yours help SO much, especially since I live in a smaller city without a lot of support/resources. I'm sorry you have to go through that kind of "alienation." I will pray for your mother-in-law. You were already in my prayers. :-) God bless!

Stephanie said...

Wow! I truly don't see how you do it. You are such an amazingly strong woman and mother. I admire you more and more everyday.

I can't imagine my life without Sarah B.

- Steph

Courtney said...

Good for you, Angela! It must be so hard to have someone so close hurt you so badly. For whatever it's worth, Benjamin is showered in love, by those you know and those of us you've never even met. None of us make up for a lost grandmother, but hopefully those sentiments will bring you as much comfort as she has brought you distress.

Jill said...

I am so glad that you are not hiding or deleting your blog. I love reading what you write. I cannot believe your Mother in Law is like that. Benjamin is a blessing and God knew exactly what he was doing when he gave you and Matthew as his parents.

Susan Massoud Farley said...

I honestly cannot imagine anyone thinking thoughts like that about any of God's children, especially someone in their own family. Unbelievable. You are so much better and stronger than her, enough said. So glad you are not deleting the blog b/c of one person's ignorance.

Mommy to those Special Ks said...

You're right. HER loss!! She's missing out on not ONE amazing grandchild, but THREE (almost)... and like I said last night, we're in the same position here. And it sucks, but you plug forward and move on and mine reads my blog, I know for a fact, but I just hope it makes her realize how much she is truly missing out on. HER loss. Not yours. And thankfully since you're keeping your blog open, not ours either! :) Hang in there!

Branton Family said...

Praying her heart will change...maybe she will see how much joy he brings to others and all his many accomplishments. I honestly don't know how anyone could not see that video of him walking and not feel inspired. Stay strong...God can change hearts, and true joy can come from it. As I write this, I laugh as he literally does change hearts, doesn't he? :) From one heart mom to another...me

Kristy said...

All children are such a blessing from God. You are so right it is her loss. Your son is so precious. How can someone so close be so heartless. I'm so glad you are not going private or deleting it. Take Care.

Adrienne said...

DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT delete this blog! You show her that Benjamin's life is worth living!!! He is perfect the way he is and she will see how much joy she is missing out on and will totally regret the way she has treated her grandson. Shame on her! Keep living your life Angela and keep blogging about it!!!

Maureen said...

You said it perfectly. It's HER loss and so what if she reads your blog, she'll only realize how beautiful ALL your kids are and what SHE'S missing out on. I only comment sporadically but I enjoy visiting your blog. I'm glad you're continuing with it.

randifaypayton said...

Got to love in laws. Got to love ignorance. Got to love judgement, cause that's what God put us here for right? To judge...

He can shut the mouths of lions Angela...what is your lil mother in law to Him?

I'm sure it won't be the first or last time you will have to take a stand for that beautiful baby against ignorant people.

The rest of us stand behind you. With cyber baseball bats in hand ;)

Love you guys
RF

Dawn said...

I'm so glad you're not deleting your blog. I don't know you, but I've been admiring you and your family from afar for many months.

Benjamin is beautiful! His life was ordained by God. He was known by Him, including the number of hairs on his head before he was born! And he was knit together in your womb by God Himself! Benjamin was no mistake! He is here for a purpose and has already brightened so many lives!!!

Anonymous said...

that's insane! you are stronger than to hide you blog b/c of one person. What does Matthew think about all of this? I had no idea your MIL felt that way!

Tricia said...

Enjoy your time at the beach. As for the rest, I am sorry you are going through this. People can be so hurtful sometimes. I will pray. God bless.

Ellye-K Designs said...

And THAT is called STICKIN IT TO THE MAN!!! You go girl! I think it's a far better thing to let her see what's she's missing out on and how blessed you all truly are than to hide it if she does happen to find it!

j said...

you go woman. stick to your guns! DO NOT delete something that you love and enjoy!
:)
love you girl!!!

Anna said...

((((HUGS))))

I'm so sorry. About the whole situation. I can't imagine how hard that is, but know that you inspire others. We are all so blessed to be invited to see a glimpse of your life. :)

Love ya.

Bethany (LeMaster) Otten said...

Angela, I have never met Benjamin nor I do I know the full story about him, but I do know you. He is very blessed to have you as his Mom. I know kinda how you feel about your MIL. My step son has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and is quite a challenge. My (step) daughter has a birth mother who is completely out of her life, was very neglectful, has nothing to do with Kay. I've raised Kay since she was 2 as my own. She's a great kid, polite, well behaved, the kinda kid that is fun to hang out with. I like to think I have something to do with that. And to my MIL I am the worst thing ever to happen to her grandchildren. I raise children as my career and according to her my daughter should be raised by her birth mother, whom my MIL loves. It's not right, but it is HER loss not to have a relationship with me, as it hinders her relationship with her grandchildren. I commend you for keeping your blog going! Hang in there!

Todd and Courtney said...

People are crazy. You know how I feel about that. I've experiences similar things. We should soooo get together with Diana for chatting :) Good for you for being so strong and having such grace. Benjamin & Andrew are lucky to have such a great mom!

Shannon said...

angela, i'm so glad you are not deleting your blog. if anything, i hope your mil sees it and realized how wonderful her grandkids are and because of her ignorance, she will never get to have a relationship with them. and maybe her relationship with you and your family will never change, but hopefully the evil and hateful things she thninks and says will.

i hope you are enjoying your vacation... i am so very jealous!!!

Sara said...

I hope she reads it. Better yet, I hope she reads this comment:

F-you Angela's MIL. She is too good of person to say it to you (and she loves Matthew too much), but I do not hesitate to say it. F. You.

Sara

Anonymous said...

I'm selfishly happy you are staying on the blog! But, I completely understand your wanting to close it off to her. I'm so sorry for the added stress this brings to you and the baby as well as to Matthew.
I'm glad I didn't know this before talking with you this morning! I'd have been fuming mad for you!!
Love,
JILL

The Mom AKA Tanya said...

Speechless right now...Bless you and your family...Benjamin is a gift.

Gisela said...

((Angela)) I'm sorry to hear that your MIL would even think such things about that sweet boy of yours. You & your family have been blessed with sweet Benjamin.

Leah said...

You know, my father in law once thought the same things. Shortly after Angela was born he told us we should put her into home because, "You have 4 other kids who need their parents! The don't need a kid like that sucking all your attention away from them." What he didn't know, was that God put Angela here for HIM too! My FIL was a big person (in ever respect) and had a huge booming voice. All the grandkids were scared to death of him until the were around 5 or so and realized that was just Grandpa's voice. But not Angela. She was never afraid of him, and God made sure that she showed grandpa more love than anyone else in the room with him. When he died of a sudden massive heart attack 4 years ago, Angela was his favorite grandchild. I feel sorry for your MIL that she will never have the opportunity to know Benjamin. She's missing an amazing journey. And, she probably needs Benjamin in her life ever more than you do! It's too bad she hasn't figured that out yet!

Beverly said...

So sorry you have to deal with this. I too had to deal with this from my MIL, I never knew what she thought but her actions or lack of them told me. Why we moved so Noah could be loved by my family now she is so not hurting us because we dont have to deal with her. God has blessed each of us with a special gift and we are so blessed and so lucky.

Mandi said...

I don't understand how someone cannot see that a baby is precious...I don't know Baby B personally, but I love him...looking at his pictures, his smiles...and A's goofy smiles. I love it all.

And I love you too, Angela...even though I haven't actually seen you in years. You are a wonderful person.

Anonymous said...

Angela, I found your blog on BZ and have been reading since, well, forever! My youngest is a few months older than B and has faced some of her own challenges. Your faith inspires me in the most difficult moments. I have laughed and cried, and wanted to comment but never knew what to say. Today I have to say, please don't make your blog private! Through your blog, Benjamin touches lives you don't even know about (like mine.) It IS her loss;) Hugs and prayers, Christina

The Soldatke family said...

Angela,
I'm so glad you didn't make your blog private!! I don't know you IRL but I feel like you are a kindrid spirit! And I love reading your blog. We are in the hospital right now and our nurse has a child who has Ds. I was telling her all about your blog and how much I adore your baby B. You have helped and inspired so many!! And so has baby B...He is God's perfect creation! It's her loss...that's too bad for her.
Have fun at the beach!! And kiss those baby b cheeks for all of us cyberfriends!

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

http://mdbeau.blogspot.com/

This is Kayla. She brings joy and love and so much happiness to so many people. She is God's will... as is Benjamin.

Your MIL can suck it because Kayla and Benjamin will DO it all.. and they're do it with God's blessing.

Anna said...

Hey, just gave you a blog award. :)
Love ya.

Mary Jo said...

You better not go any where. You are doing an awesome job of caring for your family and discerning what's best for them. Big hugs to you (and to Matthew too... I know it must be hard for him). MJ

Amber said...

WOO!! Huge weight off your chest, huh!? And I am NOT talking about your breasteses because you're not nursing yet :) So glad. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

I am glad that you decided to keep it public :) I love "stopping by" and reading about how you and the guys are doing. It always raises my spirits and gives me a smile!

Jamie

Dawn said...

Angela i'm so sorry you have to deal with anyone like that especially your mother-in-law. don't worry about her. you are a great mom and have 2 wonderful boys and a great community that support you.

Kristen said...

Let her read! Let her see what joy B brings to everyone! Let her heart change and see what a beautiful GIFT FROM GOD that he is!

Her loss my friend. Keep blogging!!! :)

Hugs. This must be hard for Matthew too. :(

Jen said...

My MIL said similar things. How sad for both mine and yours that they will miss out on such shining stars. Thank God for those people in our lives who realize how awesome our kids are. Thanks for not going private or deleting!