First of all, I did not eat an entire sleeve of Zesta saltines with my soup for dinner. Not Me! That would be overindulgent and stupid. I always eat very sensibly. (By the way, my brother Justin and SIL Edie told me recently that Zesta crackers were better than Premium ones, so I gave them a try. Wow. They really are superior...as you can tell from what I didn't eat last night.)
I did not almost lose it several times during Baby Zachary's dedication service on Saturday. Joyce is my best friend since the sixth grade, and I did not swell up with pride and almost embarrass myself. Not Me! I am always very composed.
The other night, I got in bed about an hour after Matthew. As I leaned over to give him a goodnight kiss, I did not accidentally place my cheek in a pile of drool on his pillow. Ewwww.... Good thing I did not do that because it would have been gross.
I did not force my husband to take a picture of Andrew while he used his very first coupon (for a free ice cream cone at Chick-fil-A). I never embarrass my family members.
I did not dress Andrew in yet another sweater vest for our annual Valentine's Day Playdate Party. Not Me! My boys are always on the cutting edge of fashion. And I do not expect my friend Sara to ridicule me about this once again. ;)
(Consequently, Andrew did not get tired of my taking pictures.)
I did not succumb to my old age (of almost-32, in case you were wondering) and spend my Valentine's Day evening at Chick-fil-A with my sweet family. NO! I would never do such a loser thing. I had a very romantic dinner out on the town with only my husband.
I did not bribe Andrew with ice cream...
...playing on the indoor playground...
...and a ride in the H0me Depot car/cart to get him to eat his Chick-fil-A. We've discussed this before. I don't bribe! Andrew always eats exactly what he is supposed to because that's what he does. (Oh, and Benjamin is not throwing out gang signs from the cart...really, he's not...)
I do not surround myself with pillows and take up more than half the bed when I sleep. Not Me! And my sweet husband did not take a picture of it before bed on Friday night to prove it to me.
And I did not go nuts this week and take about a hundred pictures of Benjamin sitting up. Not Me! That would be really overboard, and I just do not do things like that.